he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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