I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
