i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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