just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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