i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
