hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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