with your own penis?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
