He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
