she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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