I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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