Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize