So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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