Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
