You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Randomize
