I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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