What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
