My balls are so social today.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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