Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
