I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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