You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
PANTIES FOUND
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