she was so not down for the gang bang
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
