I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
