I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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