I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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