I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
