I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Randomize
