MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
She's just so happy...and so naked.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
