I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
