Have you finally orgasmed yet?
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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