Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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