Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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