dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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