i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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