she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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