They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Randomize
