He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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