Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
