The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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