It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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