grandma shit on top of the toilet
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize