we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
