I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
