I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize