I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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