Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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