you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
