toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
