i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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