i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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