I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I need to stop coming to work sober
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
