It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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