I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Randomize
