I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
