At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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