and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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