so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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