dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
