that's an acceptable place to lick
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
