OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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