How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
just tell him i said nine months
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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