YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
